Funny Love

Hive Status: mostly cleared up (H2 blockers yay!)

Class Status: Just took a Chemistry test, I should have done pretty darn good on it. The last question was about the Bronsted-Lowry definition of an acid and there's a different definition I forgot the name of but I got the two mixed up. So I missed one, dunno about the rest. I outsmarted one of the ones I was stuck on. It was asking about which G value would have the highest K value and I was like "...uuuhh...." but there was an equation for it so I just plugged in the two most extreme answers and figured it out :D HO HO.

Paper Status: lol.

Sign outside a Church Status: "Stop Drop and Roll doesn't work in hell!"

Work Status: Been out of assignments all week and therefore doing nothing. If I worked at some form of big corporation I'd have been laid off by now.

Neuroses Status: I am way too hard on myself. If I get good grades on things I tend to not really feel all that proud of myself just "Well, that's what I expect of me" and go on. So when I do bad it's just... bjawkwjark. I'm INSANE.

Registration Status: Completed. On TIME for a change! I picked the Friday afternoon lab, but I should have a little while to figure out which I want. Well, I don't want either. But... you know.

11 hours is far too long to be on campus. I don't think I blew that test completely but... eh. I don't know. Confidence: low. Once again, I didn't FAIL it but I just have that feeling of being SO SURE i could have worked harder and done better etc etc perfectionism

Next week:
monday: Ecology test
tuesday: Japanese presentation
friday: Ecology paper

Is one's 2.5x older than you boss loaning you Jeremy Brett DVD's cool or creepy? cuz that's what my boss did today. And I've got The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes taunting me while I have no time to watch it ToT

I'm gonna.... go.... boil my head or something.

list

My Eye: swollen shut. jf;aslkdjf It's amazing how much only having one eye impairs the vision though. graaah.

My shoulder: about a 4 inch diameter circle of swollenness that makes it hurt to raise my arm

Casanova: It's like the Doctor is spending a few years in that 18th century to sex up some ladies and IIII LIKE IT.

Homework: Pretty much didn't get anything done due to distraction of the eye.

Sleep: postponed due to hunger. consuming pop tarts.

Venture Brothers: FUCKIN' MISSED. Is it on the fix? please tell me it's on the fix :(!

Ok back to bed and up annoyingly early to visit the clinic.

This morning is eewwww.

Went to bed at around 3 AM because I was doing Chemistry and .... reading Jeeves and Wooster fanfic ... and by then I was like DEAR GOD I NEED TO JUST GO TO BED. I was sort of hungry but I was too tired/lazy to make food so I went to bed hungry, which never really works cuz then I sleep badly. I did manage to fall asleep but I had a dream that somebody was bombing us, but it was a really really super weird dream. There were yachts involved? I don't really remeber. I think our bomb shelter was a tent. That's.... effective.

Anyhow.

There's a Japanese Club meeting today. I never went last year because it was during my piano lesson. It's kind of ALOT inconvenient though because my last class gets out at 3:30, the meeting is at 4:00 and I have a lab at 6. An hour/An hour and a half is not enough time to go home in between. So if I go to this meeting I will be on campus from 11:00 AM till probably 8:00 PM
;_____;

I guess I can decide after ecology if I'm gonna stay and if I do, buy some food on campus or something.

Speaking of which I could use some more food than just cereal and to finish getting ready.
okbye

God, I am having SEVERE slacking problems!

Due Tuesday I have a paper about a video we watched thursday in mythology and a Japanese quiz. I haven't even picked a subject for my midterm paper in mythology, and I have to study for a Japanese test tuesday AND I have to go to lab tomorrow so I'll have way less time to do any of it in!

I SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

I DID NOTHING THIS WEEKEND

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAA;LKAHW;HG
Sort it OUT, Anne!

So in the middle of summer I got this email from the Biology department about this program for Biology/Medical students where you work with a faculty member on research stuff during the school year and then really hardcore in the summer. And at first I looked at the application requirements and was like "OH GOD I'm not sure enough of what I want to do for this" and sort of disregarded it. But the deadline got pushed back and at a open house type thing for my job, my boss was running around introducing me to Bio faculty (while I was having a social anxiety panic attack) a few of whom encouraged me to try for the program. So I went back and looked at the original email and it's doable even though I only have 2 weeks to writing an application letter, related resume, and interview at least 3 faculty members to see who I would prefer as a mentor for the program. Gah. But ... one of the parts about it that worries me (along with my social anxiety about interviewing faculty) is that you're expected to stay in the program through your senior year. And then with the summer that takes away any possibility of study abroad I might have considered (though I wasn't considering very seriously just yet).

It's like I'm afraid t apply for it. For one there is my horrible hideous shyness problem and I know that shouldn't keep me from doing it but I don't know... I feel like my resistance to trying for it is stronger than that. Fear of failure so I don't want to try? Fear I will hate it? WHAT?! I don't know. I know I should really try to do it but something seriously is making me FREAK OUT ABOUT IT. Like right now. As I just write about doing it I'm feeling SO STRESSED AND PANICKY AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. Like tearing up anxiety. I'm serious. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME GUYS :(

I guess I don't really feel all that passionate about my major at the moment. After how much I hated biology last semester and how I'm really not looking forward to my current one I just don't know what I want and I feel like everything I'm doing is nothing that I want to do! BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO :(

Ben Folds is right. It really DOES suck to grow up.

Ok.

I can survive finals week and not FAIL as long as I use my time wisely. So. Today I should:

-Write Japanese composition
-Read Chapter 11 in Chemistry
-Review Chem Test 1

We're supposed to write a letter for our composition and I'm not sure what to do. I think I might pretend to be on vacation in africa to be slightly less boring. I need a better non-online dictionary really badly though D:

If there is any significant amount of questions about musculature on this test I am SCREWED.

I want this semester to END D:

Unrelated, is there anyone out there who can hook me up with the last 10 episodes (or any of them, if not all) of Yakitate! Japan? I neglected them for a long time (obviously) and now that summer is coming up I'd like to finish it and... stuff.

I'll back you cookies. Or some other (more internet plausible) return favor :)

IF I STUDY ANY MORE I THINK MY BRAIN IS GOING TO FALL OUT BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'VE LEARNED ANYTHING EITHER!

:'(!!!

By the end of today, i will finish typing up the rest of my notes and tomorrow in my between class time i will hopefully work out answers to the sample essay questions and after that... i have no idea.

I am sooooooooo not ready for this test and I never will be :'(

I came home after Japanese because I was going to work on my lab.

Of course, I'm not.

Sigh.

I feel a bit like take a trip home because it's been a really long time since I have, but I'm not going to have time for a long time!
This weekend there's some Tibetan Monks doing.... Tibetan Monk things an dI want to go see, as well as that screening of Rocky Horror.
Next weekend is the last weekend before Finals which I should spend working and if I go home no work will be done.
Weekend after that is my sister's graduation, and my dad's coming up to visit for that anyway. And I have to move.

Pfui!

ok really. work.