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Apr. 2nd, 2008 11:57 pmI think I just played DDR for over an hour without realizing it
If only I could do that more regularly and eat better. As it stands, my limited exercise only curbs my junk food habit. Not that there's anythin WRONG with that.
Also, how did I manage to spend 30 dollars at the grocery store and only buy 2 apples. Really? Processed food for the lose. I want to buy more produce but man I keep coming up with stuff to spend money on and it sucks. Like a power drill. Which I really want, nay, need. It's not like it's something dumb and useless. Power tools sort of rule. They make me feel all sorts of badass. Yeah.
Anyway. I'm having disturbing levels of non-motivation for life. Specifically, I hardly feel motivated to conquer Japanese and do JET Program. Getting denied was pretty disappointing but at the same time I think I was kind of relieved. At first I figured it was because I could drop Neurobiology but I don't know. I don't know if it's just fear or that inevitable burn out or what. I started trying to translate a song I've wanted to know the meaning of for years (Shinohara Tomoe's "Loop People" for the record) or an MGS doujin (one that seems to just recreate the battle with The Sorrow, nothing super gay because I would theoretically have to show sensei). What I found though is that I just don't get the same level of joy out of it as I used to. It really bothers me because I really really loved doing it before, it was like cracking code. Insane, frustrating code. But it made me feel accomplished. It felt like a little mini-enlightenment every time. Maybe the real level of difficulty is setting in, or maybe it's that I'm so occupied with my life the way it is now I dread change. Which is normal but... I wish I had that drive. My GANBARU! has withered and died and I'm not sure how to revive it.
If only I could do that more regularly and eat better. As it stands, my limited exercise only curbs my junk food habit. Not that there's anythin WRONG with that.
Also, how did I manage to spend 30 dollars at the grocery store and only buy 2 apples. Really? Processed food for the lose. I want to buy more produce but man I keep coming up with stuff to spend money on and it sucks. Like a power drill. Which I really want, nay, need. It's not like it's something dumb and useless. Power tools sort of rule. They make me feel all sorts of badass. Yeah.
Anyway. I'm having disturbing levels of non-motivation for life. Specifically, I hardly feel motivated to conquer Japanese and do JET Program. Getting denied was pretty disappointing but at the same time I think I was kind of relieved. At first I figured it was because I could drop Neurobiology but I don't know. I don't know if it's just fear or that inevitable burn out or what. I started trying to translate a song I've wanted to know the meaning of for years (Shinohara Tomoe's "Loop People" for the record) or an MGS doujin (one that seems to just recreate the battle with The Sorrow, nothing super gay because I would theoretically have to show sensei). What I found though is that I just don't get the same level of joy out of it as I used to. It really bothers me because I really really loved doing it before, it was like cracking code. Insane, frustrating code. But it made me feel accomplished. It felt like a little mini-enlightenment every time. Maybe the real level of difficulty is setting in, or maybe it's that I'm so occupied with my life the way it is now I dread change. Which is normal but... I wish I had that drive. My GANBARU! has withered and died and I'm not sure how to revive it.
