[personal profile] anneford
NEW ICON. Watson, you dick.

Been feeling really self-conscious about like... everything lately, and I don't really know why.

A girl in my comics class (fuck you, "graphic narrative") said I should totally date the guy in my class who I often end up sitting next to and who is also in the college comic book club. This was followed by him being like "WHAT ARE U DOIN' TONIGHT?!" on Friday and me getting that intense flush of panic I always get from that question. Said I was watching a movie with my roommate, which was mostly true. My original plan had consisted of opening up the wine in the cat-shaped bottle my sister sent me, and watching a movie seemed an appropriate accompanying activity. Turns out he and some buddies were going to see Wayne Newton because they got free tickets. I don't know if that means I should have gone or not? lol Wayne Newton, what. At first, I had Wayne Newton confused with Tom Jones. If it had actually been Tom Jones I would have punched myself in the head for missing it, panic or no.

He's not a bad dude, but I don't look at him and think "I WANT TO DATE YOU!" but I do think he'd be a decent person to hang out with. But I think that about most dudes because the thought of dating and dating expectations and oh dear god the panic THE PANIC I can't handle it.

Also he is 3 years younger than me I AM OLD.

And I know for a fact he posts at /co/ and I think he's figured out that I'm the one that posted about the class there a while back. Neither of us have actually said anything about it directly, and it's kind of alot weird. This is the second 4chan to real-life crossover I have experienced, and I can say at least that this one is less weird, which isn't surprising given the first known 4chan person I ever met in real life is known for posting naked pictures of himself and his Kamina tattoos on /cgl/.

Anyway, at this point it remains a non-issue, despite me thinking about it anyone and subsequently becoming nervous about hanging out with the guy in a friend capacity because I hate when guys try to move in on date-like territory, even if I don't even know that he WOULD. Is that narcissistic to assume? probably.

TL;DR - I auto-friend-zone dudes indiscriminately because I am afraid of literally anyone being in the boyfriend-zone.

This is possibly due to the fact that the only advice my dad ever gave me about boys was "Friend before Boyfriend" but I have this inadequately founded paranoia that guys don't want to be your friend before boyfriend (one particular incident is not a trend!)

Moving on, the movie I ended up watching while drinking my cat-shaped wine was The Grudge, with the Rifftrack. I am ashamed to say I was still freaked out, even though it was a bad movie and I watched it being deftly mocked. God I hate that. I can't handle freaky ghost visuals! Ever! fjfjfjjfjf.
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