I know I have a ton of school work to do. My regular weekly work for Japanese and graphic narrative (mother fuckin' comics), a short paper for comics, a final research-y paper for comics, my final project for library science (due next Tuesday with extra credit or thursday as the last chance), final paper for astronomy (ugggh). And what do I do with my time? Watch movies and play FF8 (or other games). I just want to be completely mind-numbed it seems. I can't even seem to sneak in an RP tag here and there because it takes too much thinking.
Can't fight the apathy cuz I'm too apathetic.
Also, can't stop thinking about being mad at my dad, which I still am. I haven't talked to him since last sunday, making it over two weeks since we last spoke. And I just... don't want to call. And I hate that. I keep writing speeches in my head or dramatic scenes that'll never actually play out. I know that there is no certain thing I can say (or yell) that'll fix things, but it seems like my brain is trying really hard to write something out, despite logically knowing that it's no use. I hate that things are like this so much, almost as much as I hate the fact that I can't do anything about it, except endlessly forgive my dad's retardation which is really getting old and I'm sick of doing it. I don't know how long it'll take without me calling him for him to finally call me.
a;kwje;fkahwe;oifhaw;ihefj I wish things with my dad were the same as they were when I was in high school. I miss that more than I can articulate. :(
As a result of being incommunicado with my dad, I'm only going to be able to send invites to the most obvious of relatives on that side, unless I suck it up and call and ask, though I cynically doubt how helpful that would even be. Don't want to send invites out without a picture, but I don't have any pictures printed, nor do I even have one taken, but I really need to send them out so I don't know if I should just skip it or what.
Also need to email Professor Crazy of comics class about my research paper but good lord do I not want to communicate with her.
I just can't seem to muster up the motivation to get anything DONE.